Former English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, says instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his immediate wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I process things in another way, and after I have the facts, it's simpler," he stated further.
Initial Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the issue, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't experience poorly
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I continue to be capable of doing whatever I want. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Progression
MND can progress rapidly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and over half within two years of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and began licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be extremely strongly directed on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the sole decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Link
Elite athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the illness is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is believed that by restricting the air available and creating injury to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous training can activate the condition in those already vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his fearless, persistent style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a training equipment and commenced engaging in tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the crucial passage of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Support Community
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a couple of other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the moment, just having that kind of care and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to call your love your profession, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to help in every way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
